The more I do this work the more I see many of the issues people come to see me with are due to unexpressed emotions, needs and desires. There is so much energy trapped within us that is starting to express itself in unhealthy ways. We find ways to express how we feel or we suppress it.
Emotions are not good or bad but some are more unconformable than others and many of us have been taught to keep them to ourselves. We believe they are bad and they will cause hurt to others. We may have been laughed at or ridiculed for crying (bigs boys don't cry) or told "good girls don't get angry" or been sent to our rooms when we were highly emotional. Some of us believed we were responsible for how others felt "look how you made me feel". We may even have had painful traumatic experiences where we didn't have the skills to cope with how we felt. It felt safer to not feel. So the above taught us to push our feelings down and now we are suffering because of it.
ALL emotions are important. They tell us something. They are like messengers and they can help us determine what is right or wrong for us in all situations. We can even have mixed emotions where we feel multiple things about an experience. For example;
Anger tells us a boundary has been crossed or we are being threatened. It can protect us and help us stand up for ourselves. It can motivate us to take action. Sometimes anger covers up a more vulnerable feeling like fear or sadness. It can keep others away from us, push people away, create space and act like a suit of armour.
Anxiety and fear are there to protect us and keep us safe. Our natural physiological response to fight, flight, freeze or fawn in situations that are dangerous or life-threatening. Sometimes these can get out of hand and make us fearful of things that aren't dangerous or unsafe. We can also create undue anxiety with worrying thoughts.
Disappointment happens when something we expected doesn't happen. This may be because our expectations were too high or we didn't communicate them clearly. It also occurs when we go for a goal and don't meet it. We take a risk and it doesn't pay off. We work hard and don't get the results we want. Situations we will all face in life.
Embarrassment occurs when we do something silly or make a mistake. We are more embarrassed when others know about what we have done but we still feel it even if no-one is around. Embarrassment can prevent us doing things again and that can be a good thing if what we did wasn't right but it also stops us going after what we want because we are afraid of making a mistake and getting embarrassed again.
Sadness tells us we are losing something that is important to us. We all experience sadness with loss. It is a normal part of life. We might be losing a friend, partner, job or even making a happy positive change like moving house but are sad we will miss our current neighbours.
8. Calming Anxiety (Grounding)
9. Reducing Anxiety (Exercise)
10. Reducing Anxiety (Power of Words)
11. Reducing Anxiety (Anticipation)
12. Reducing Anxiety (Brain Dialogue)
13. Release Sadness (Movies)
14. Release Sadness (Journal)
Therapy sessions are held in Henderson, Auckland or online via Zoom. It works just as well online as it does in person.